Some people say that you do not need another person to make you happy, as you are responsible for your own happiness. Well, we would like to disagree here a bit. Even though your happiness does not completely depend on you having a life partner, a boyfriend or a spouse, your world does become a much happier place to live in with the presence of a loved one. Your days seem brighter, you feel loved and wanted, and there is a sense of positivity in everything you do. Being lonely is the worst thing ever and it takes you to a darker place of your being.

Are you tired of arguing, fighting, or worse, avoiding conflict and silently suffering?

We all know, having a stable happy relationship can be hard and experiencing problems in your relationship is surprisingly common. Having difficulties or conflicts in your relationship can cause huge distress between unmarried partners, co-habiting partners, partners in civil partnerships or married couples. These may be internal i.e. between the couple, or as a result of external pressures such as your extended family, work pressure or perhaps an affair. If unresolved, these issues can lead to mental health problems, relationship breakdowns and divorce, all of which can be extremely painful for all concerned.

Remember, the goal of your relationship is not perfection or the absence of problems but rather to develop the tools and the trust and the growth, so that you KNOW, you can overcome any relationship challenge. Despite this being so common, most of us find it very difficult to talk about such personal issues and this may mean that our problems continue for years or even forever. It does not have to be like this.

Do you wish you could address your relationship problems and have a closer, more fulfilling relationship, without the drama and conflict?

Conflict.

All of us experience conflict as part of day-to-day life. In personal relationships we may come together from different backgrounds, religions, education experience, political background etc. Avoiding conflict, or ignoring problems, can result in avoiding important issues in our relationship, which may lead to resentment and anger. Anger can be acknowledged in a constructive way, but anger can be destructive.

A very wise man once told me; “He who is not prepared to collide with the world, will have no impact on the world”, But the trick is not to collide with everyone, it’s to accept that collision is inevitable, but how we handle ourselves and these collisions is what makes us true loving human beings. In a relationship, it is important to reflect together on what you can learn from conflict and how you handle it.

Affairs.

Finding out about an affair can have a devastating impact on your relationship, and you can be left with difficult and painful decisions, let alone a broken heart. It is vital that you both understand the real reasons why this happened so you can face the future in a positive manner. Affairs rarely have just one cause, and they don’t always happen because of unhappiness or dissatisfaction in a relationship.

It is important to understand two things. Firstly, a happy fulfilling relationship can protect against infidelity, but it is not an insurance policy. Secondly, you can only preserve your own fidelity. As such you cannot take responsibility for your partner’s infidelity and blame yourself. Incompatibilities, life challenges, and misunderstandings are inevitable in a relationship, but conflict, drama, and disconnect, don’t have to be.

  • Try to avoid unnecessary fighting, like two individuals on opposite sides of a battle, which erodes trust and causes damage to your relationship.
  • Be consciously aware of the real issues behind the relationship problems, don’t avoid these as this will lead to resentment.
  • Try establishing the root cause of the problem and communicate openly and effectively to address this to try stop harmful conflict before it starts.
  • Focus on why you started this relationship, the sense of commitment and excitement you started it with and renew that feelings.
  • Know that they key elements you want to have and need to give is closeness, intimacy and trust.

Most importantly – Become each other’s allies! Partners who work as a team to address relationship problems in a healthy, constructive way, can conquer the world! Have each other’s backs!

A Transformation Coach takes healthy people and make them high performing. They help you quickly uncover the essence of what you want out of a partnership, guide you around painful issues, and create a safe cocoon as you face your fears and discover your true desires.

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