Listen to yourself.
How often do we hear how important it is to have empathy towards people? To truly understand the other person’s needs rather than what we assume that person needs. Similarly, we must begin by being empathetic with ourselves. Yet we are often our own worst critics. Start by turning an empathetic ear and truly listen to yourself, without judgment or criticism. (You want to be a dancer? Tell yourself more…), you might just get a better idea of what your true self wants—not what someone else (including your inner own voice critics) tells you, what you want or don’t want.
Questions are good, but the “why” question is most revealing.
We often state something we want, but can’t figure out how to get it, or why we’re having trouble getting it. What we think is the answer, may in fact only be the starting point, a question that needs to be peeled back to discover another layer of the onion. You want a new job. You want to be promoted. You declare these statements as your goals, but get stuck in achieving them. Instead, consider the why. Why do you want a new job? Why a promotion? What is the root issue, behind your desire or statement?
Perhaps you don’t really want a new job, but you are seeking growth and meaning in your work that you are not currently finding. Is a new job the only solution or are there other things you can try without leaving your current job? Reframing the issue, can help unpack the real question, and help you move forward.
Doing, instead of trying.
These days, it might feel like everyone gets a prize for effort and participation, trying and trying and trying. We are expending so much energy on “trying” but not actually, on doing. Imagine you want to go bungee jumping. Standing on that ledge, hundreds of meters above the ground, all the jumping cords tied and ready to go, as evidence of you really trying. But if you never jump, you’re never actually bungee jumped. You’re just trying. You could spend days and months and years, and a lot of money making the attempt. But no matter how many times you go up onto that ledge, no matter how many different ways you look at it or prepare for it, and no matter how many instructors you have, you will never bungee jump, until you jump. So, take that jump!
Sometimes we need to simply reflect on our lives and focus on our underlying feelings in order to find out what our true passion is. Ask yourself these self-reflecting questions:
- What makes me most happy throughout my day?
- If money weren’t an issue, what would I be doing each day?
- Do I enjoy working around people or being alone most of the time?
- What topic makes my adrenaline rush a bit during a conversation?
- When I talk with my friends, do I find myself getting defensive or standing up for any particular things?
- What do I think my biggest strengths are? My weaknesses?
- What have I learned from my previous work or school experiences?
- How do I feel in my current state of mind?
- How would I define happiness? Does my current situation fit into that definition?
Do you let fear get in the way of doing the things you are passionate about? Or are you not even sure what your passions are? This transformation coaching programme can help you find your passion.